Big XII Expansion or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Twitter

0
1847

The Big XII. We’ve all read about it. For most of us, we’ve probably read about it too much. All over the internet, every major news source has a different story about who’s in, who’s out, and when the hammer is going to drop. But we here at UCFB have scoured many articles, tweets, and even a few vines all over the internet and have come to a conclusion. We’ve put together the pieces of a massive puzzle. We have uncovered a conspiracy so huge that Nicolas Cage himself couldn’t uncover it even if he had a map on the Declaration of Independence. What conclusion did we come to? What major discovery have we unearthed?

Everyone is full of shit! No one has any idea what they are talking about!

 

How do I know this? I know this because not even members of the Big XII know what is happening. In an interview from early August about conference realignment, OK State head coach Mike Gundy said “I don’t know what we’re doing, I think at this point we’re pretty much clueless.” If the head coaches of member schools don’t know who’s getting in, why would anyone else outside of the 10 presidents and Commissioner Bob Bowlsby know?

I know what you’re thinking. “But BobDiacosHair, if everyone is full of shit how do any of these people have jobs in the news reporting industry? Why are they putting this information out there if none of it is true?” Valid Question. They’re putting this information out there to get you to click on their website. The more times you click that button the more money these guys make. So if all this is true, who can you trust? Where can you turn to get your inside information? In all this madness someone must be accurate. Right?

Let me break it down for you. Let’s say Dan Orlovsky is choosing an NFL team to play for and he held meetings with every GM. Let’s also say that every one of those GMs felt they had a good interview with DO and were confident in their chances of landing him. So all of these GMs go out and “leak” information to their friend the reporter saying that they think Orlovsky is coming to play for their team. In turn, all of these reporters tweet out that the inside scoop they got from their respective GM friends. All of a sudden 32 news reporters now have 32 different stories on what is happening, but DO can only play for one team. Only one of these GMs can be right. Yet the statements keep the fanbase happy, gets the reporters more twitter followers, and drives merchandise sales.

So with all this laid out for you, it all boils down to the fact that you will have to make your own decision on what to truly believe. There is just as much false information out there as there is facts so we here at UCFB, being the eternal optimists, would like to show you some of our favorite tweets that we prefer to think are the truth. Tweets about UConn getting in.

Greg Flugaur(@flugempire) is probably my favorite twitter personality to follow mainly because he has had UConn in it all along. He has stated in multiple tweets that Big XII members will need to trade votes with other members in order to make everyone happy. An act he refers to as “horse trading”. According to Flugaur, the Texas schools want the addition of BYU and Houston, while non Texas schools want to add Cincinnati and UConn among others. In order to get the 8 votes necessary for expansion, member schools will be trading votes in order to ensure their #1 choice gets in. His contacts from Oklahoma University have stated on multiple occasions that the only schools with any traction are currently the 4 schools mentioned above. Most importantly, us.

On the flip side, there are also PLENTY of people out there who have UConn on the outside looking in. The real point to consider however, is that no one can come to a consensus as to who is in. If these sources can’t definitively agree on who is in, how can they possibly know who is out? The following tweets should be taken with a grain of salt because as the tweets above have already reported, UConn is definitely IN (Probably)

Don’t let those four little letters on the end of his handle fool you, he doesn’t know anything either.

BYU? Houston? Cincinnati? Memphis? At the end of the day it’s enough possibilities to make your head spin.

What it all boils down to is that you as the viewer need to make your own decision on who to trust. In three to five months when this is all over, only a select few reporters can be right. Only a select few schools will win the lottery. Only a select few school presidents will get to throw a champagne and caviar party paid for by student tuition. So what have we learned?

The only thing we can say with absolute certainty is…

UCF still sucks.